Conquering Self-Sabotage & Overcommitment with Dr. Morgan

By February 4, 2025

Transcript

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:00:00]

I think of it as like, there is no failure after Go. So if you’re like, I’m afraid I’m going to fail. I’m afraid I’m going to lose the weight and put it back on. I’m afraid I’m going to spend all of this time and energy and money on this and it’s not going to work for me. Those are all signs of that fear of failure. Hello.

Leanne Vogel [00:00:15]

Welcome, welcome, welcome. If you are, have a very keen ear. You’ve probably noticed that I’ve been sick in every episode for the past month and a half, and that’s only because it’s the month of September, which means I am currently traveling Spain, Portugal, and had to record all of my intros and bios and recordings before I left. So if you are concerned for my health because you’re like, oh my goodness, Leanne has literally been sick a month. I have not. I have not. It’s September now. I’m sure I’m feeling great, but at the time of this recording, it’s August and I was just sick last week.

Leanne Vogel [00:00:55]

So don’t worry about me. I know that there are going to be questions coming in, so I want you to know I’m feeling good. I just needed to do a huge batch of recordings of a ton of episodes going live in the month of September while I’m traveling. And I cannot wait to share all the details about my trip. And if you don’t already follow me on Instagram at Leanne Vogel, please do. I’m sure I’m eating all the things and hiking all the places and sharing all the details with you over on Instagram, so be sure to check that out. Okay. Our episode today is with Morgan Nolte.

Leanne Vogel [00:01:30]

She’s a board certified clinical specialist in geriatric physical therapy. Recognizing a lack of preventative education and care that focused on reversing risk factors instead of treating symptoms, Dr. Nolte founded Zevi, an online course and coaching program that helps adults reverse insulin resistance for long term weight loss and disease prevention. Dr. Nolte’s content has reached millions of people through her podcast and YouTube channel, which now has over 100,000 subscribers. You can find out more from her by going to her website, Ziv.com. that’s Zed I V L I.com and she’s on Instagram at Dr. Morgan Nolte.

Leanne Vogel [00:02:12]

That’s N o L T e and her YouTube channel. And all those kinds of things will be in the show notes today. Okay, so our conversation, I was not expecting us to go in this direction. But I am so happy that we did because we have not talked about this and I know that so so many of us are challenged by this on a day to day basis and that is self sabotage and committing to things that we don’t want to do and then over committing and then oh do you know the feeling of just doing things you don’t want to do and then those things that you didn’t want to do that you shouldn’t have needed to do but you’re doing to make other people happy than affect the goals that you have for yourself that you know that you should be doing. You feel me because I have struggled through this for sure. We get really personal. She asks me some personal questions and we talk about bio, individuality and the martyr complex and limiting thoughts and expectations and scheduling your life and how to create gaps in your time. It was just such a valuable conversation.

Leanne Vogel [00:03:24]

So I walked into today’s episode thinking we were going to talk about insulin and we just went in a totally different direction and I am not sorry about it. So I hope that you needed this just as much as I did. It was such a reset to how I view my goals and I hope that you really enjoy our conversation with Dr. Morgan Nolte. Let’s get to it.

Leanne Vogel [00:03:48]

Hey, my name is Leanne and I’m fascinated with helping women navigate how to eat, move and care for their body bodies. This has taken me on a journey from vegan keto high protein to everything in between. I’m a small town holistic nutritionist turned three time international bestselling author turned functional medicine practitioner offering telemedicine services around the globe to women looking to better their health and stop second guessing themselves. I’m here to teach you how to wade through the wellness noise to get to the good stuff that’ll help you achieve your goals. Whether you’re seeking relief from chronic ailments, striving for peak performance, or simply eager to live a more vibrant life, this podcast is your go to resource for actionable advice and inspiration. Together we’ll uncover the interconnectedness of nutrition, movement, sleep, stress management and mindset, empowering you to make informed choices that support your unique health journey. Think of it as quality time with your bestie mixed with a little med school so you’re empowered at your next doctor visit. Get ready to be challenged and encouraged while you learn about your body and how to care for it healthfully.

Leanne Vogel [00:04:54]

Join me as we embrace vitality, reclaim our innate potential and discover what it truly means to pursue healthfulness Morgan, how’s it going?

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:05:12]

Great. Thanks for having me on the show.

Leanne Vogel [00:05:14]

Yeah, of course. So before we pressed record, we kind of came up with a strategy for today’s episode. I’m really excited. I never know until I jump in with a guest, kind of the direction that we’re taking. So I am so pumped to have this conversation. Before we kind of get into the nitty gritty, I would love for you to tell us a little bit about how you got where you are and what lights you up on a day to day basis.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:05:37]

Yeah. So I’m a geriatric physical therapist by trade, and most of my PT experience was either in the home care setting or the post acute rehab. So someone had a fall or heart attack or stroke and they went to the hospital, they weren’t strong enough to come home, they needed rehab, they would come to a post acute rehab. So I have a ton of work experience in those two settings and I just saw time and time again the downstream effects of insulin resistance, which no one was talking about. I think very few people are still talking about it. And insulin resistance is really the root cause of all of the diseases I was treating in geriatric PT, like type 2 diabetes, obesity, cardiovascular diseases like heart attacks and strokes and Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia. And my heart just broke. And I really felt like the care that I was providing in that traditional PT setting, while it was valuable, was not what I’m called to do.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:06:31]

I felt like often it was too little, too late and we weren’t making significant, meaningful impacts on their quality of life. And so pretty quickly I realized that I wanted to be more on the preventative side of things and help people be proactive to reduce their risk for disease and hopefully not need a geriatric PT down the road because by that time, quality of life is very much affected. You’re going to feel like a burden to your family, your finances are affected. And so I just really wanted to help adults age well and be independent and have the retirement that they want. And so to me, what made the most sense was really focusing on helping people live a low insulin, low inflammation lifestyle to get to that root cause of insulin resistance and kill the most birds with one stone.

Leanne Vogel [00:07:16]

That is, it’s so great to go from that sick care to preventative care and that switch. I’ve had so many individuals on the show, especially recently, just kind of waking up to hold on a minute. My work can be done so much sooner and start preventing some of these issues. And many of the pieces that you just touched on a lot of it people could assume is just part of getting older. What kind of signs and symptoms would we be looking at when it comes to that insulin resistance before it gets to the stage of the disease states that you mentioned?

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:07:49]

Yeah, so I think looking first off at fasting insulin level is really important. Most physicians are not checking fasting insulin. An ideal level is going to be less than about six. So even if you have a normal blood sugar or a normal hemoglobin A1C, which is a three month estimate of blood sugar, you can be in the normal range. And you might have insulin levels rising in the background for 10 to 20 years before you ever get diagnosed with pre diabetes or type 2 diabetes. So if people feel blindsided with a diabetes or pre diabetes diagnosis, it’s only because their physician wasn’t checking fasting insulin. So that’s the first thing is get your fasting insulin checked, have as much of a heads up as possible on your metabolic health. Now the second thing is you might be experiencing weight gain.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:08:32]

I think a lot of people as we age attribute, oh, you know, here’s 5 pounds and 10 pounds and 15 pounds extra. And it really adds up over the decades. So that creep in weight that can be attributed to insulin resistance as well. I think just brain fog, fatigue, high blood pressure, high triglycerides, all of those like risk factors for disease are going to indicate a risk for, for insulin resistance. So it’s important to pay attention, like don’t turn a blind eye to these little things. I like to use the pebble rock boulder analogy. So a little bit of weight gain, maybe a little fatigue, maybe increased carb cravings, maybe you’re swelling a little bit easier. Maybe, you know, I, I would say those are the pebbles, you know, like those tiny little signs.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:09:21]

And if you don’t pay attention to the pebbles, well, life is going to give you a rock. Going to get something bigger to pay attention to. You’re going to get a high blood sugar reading, you’re going to get a high blood pressure, you’re going to have high triglycerides, you’re going to have excess belly fat, you’re going to be in that overweight or obese category on your bmi. Total different conversation. Not talking about muscle, but just in general. You’re going to experience excess weight. Maybe you have some skin tags, like those are the rocks. Now we need to pay even closer attention because otherwise what happens, you’re still not paying attention.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:09:52]

Life needs to get your attention. It’s going to Give you a boulder. So you’re going to get some sort of life changing health event, like a heart attack, like a stroke, like dementia, like an amputation, like losing your vision, like losing your nerve function. And I just saw Boulder after Boulder after Boulder after Boulder. Most people don’t see these things because if you’ve had a stroke or you can’t walk very far or you have cognitive impairment, you’re not going to the grocery store, you’re not going out to games, you’re pretty much homebound. So as a home care physical therapist, I just saw this magnified. Like most people will see it maybe in their parents or their grandparents, a handful of people in their lifetime who they see age. And I saw hundreds of people age.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:10:37]

And so I kind of very quickly identified, wow, we need to backtrack here and work on the pebbles and work on the rocks before we get these boulders.

Leanne Vogel [00:10:46]

That is such a great way of seeing this. And I think many of the ladies who listen to the show are probably around the, and there are some, you know, individuals over this, but around the 6 to 10, maybe even 12, fasting insulin. So it’s not excessive, but it’s definitely a lot higher. I’m the same like I look for around three to six. That’s the ideal for fasting insulin. What’s happening when we’re kind of in that range of like 6 to 10? Is it diet, is it inflammation, is it lack of movement because you’re so close but you’re just not there yet.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:11:20]

Some thoughts there, totally person specific. So I think that’s where that bio individuality comes in. And I think that’s why the solution must match the cause. I have to say, you can cut carbs all day, but if the cause of your high insulin levels is high cortisol from high stress, cutting carbs is not going to be effective. If you’re already working out consistently, you know, you can modify things a little bit. But let’s take a look at your nutrition. If your sleep is terrible, let’s look at your sleep. So I kind of have this hierarchy where I like to look at things first.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:11:51]

I look, I like to look at mindset a lot because your thoughts create your reality and your thoughts create your habits. But then I like to look at sleep because if you don’t sleep well, your hormones are off, you’re going to have more carb cravings, you’re going to be hungrier, you’re going to be more likely to overeat and you’re going to be less likely to follow through on your nutrition and your exercise plan. So I really like to dial in on that mindset side of things and the sleep and then focus on the nutrition and exercise side of things because it’s just easier to implement when you’re not as stressed and when you’re sleep deprived. And if people notice that they are exhibiting self sabotaging behaviors like they start the diet and then they stop the diet and they cannot find a happy middle ground and they keep breaking promises to themselves and they’re not being consistent, that’s a mindset problem, that’s not necessarily a strategy problem. So I think getting back to that root cause analysis of what’s contributing to the high insulin levels is the most effective approach for that.

Leanne Vogel [00:12:52]

Yes, completely. Because it is so targeted and each individual is going to have a different experience. I know for myself personally, when I probably around 2022, my fasting insulin on a ketogenic diet was 9. So I was eating very minimal carbohydrates and it was still nine. And then I started moving and adding muscle and really focusing on movement. And now my fasting insulin is consistently 4 and I’m actually eating far more carbohydrates. I think when I did my my first fasting insulin that was at 4, I was eating 300 grams of carbohydrates a day. So.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:13:29]

Right. Like it’s very individual drop because I know you come from that keto background. And I’m like, well, that would be so interesting to hear your story of going from keto, 300 grams a day.

Leanne Vogel [00:13:40]

Super fun. Yeah. Another conversation for another time. But it was just, you know, to go from that fasting insulin that was higher to now regulated fasted insulin that’s, you know, moderate and great, really came to building more muscle for myself, moving my body, walking, all of those things that I just couldn’t do before. And so it might not be another person’s path. And you spoke on that. Where I’d really like to dive into is the breaking promises to yourself. Because you said that in your answer.

Leanne Vogel [00:14:13]

And I, I have noticed myself committing to things and following through so that I trust myself more. And it builds a better trust in that when I say I’m going to do something and I commit to it and I follow through on it, then I know that I can be trusted. Just like another person in your life. If they’re saying, yeah, yeah, I’ll meet you at so and so at 8am and they don’t show up, you’re like, okay, fair enough, maybe something happened. But if this is consistent, you don’t want to be their friend anymore because they don’t respect your time. And it’s the exact same thing for ourselves and our goals. So what do you see on a day to day basis with your clients where they’re just, they’re not able to commit? And what’s the sort of mindset that’s.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:14:54]

Going around in that this is everything. We can spend probably the rest of the conversation on this? There’s so many factors I think we have to look at. Why, why do people resist change? It’s because there’s some sort of automatic programming that’s running the show. So 90 to 95% of your thoughts in a day are subconscious, meaning you’re not even aware that you’re thinking them. And so when you’re not following through, when you’re breaking promises to yourself, it’s because you have a limiting thought. A limiting thought limits your potential. And trying to see your own limiting thoughts is like a fish trying to see a drop of water in its fishbowl. It’s your natural state.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:15:37]

So it’s very difficult to identify these limiting thoughts without some sort of external perspective. And when we’re thinking about, okay, well why would somebody resist change? There’s a few things that come to mind. I think the first would be attachments. So I’m, I’m very big on practicing non attachment. And what does that mean? You are not necessarily attached to the current version of yourself. You’re not attached to your current habits. You’re not attached to what you normally have for breakfast. You’re not attached to the normal bedtime of 10:30 when you should be going to bed tonight at 9:30.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:16:14]

But a lot of people have strong attachments. A lot of people have attachments to what other people think of them. So whether it’s an actual opinion or a perceived judgment or opinion, what are people going to think if, you know, I’m at work and I’m not eating what they’re eating? You’re letting the perceived judgment, which may or may not be real, of somebody else, affect your choice. So we really have to dig deep into why do we do what we do. And study yourself, like that’s the take home point today. Study yourself. Podcasts are great, books are great, but you are your greatest teacher. Your experience is your greatest teacher.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:16:53]

So you have to take time to reflect. What’s another reason someone might be resistant to change? Like fear of the unknown is a big one. So I don’t know if my skin’s going to be saggy when I lose weight. I don’t know if my partner’s still going to want to be with me. I don’t know what his reaction is going to be when I start to change my diet. Is he going to get jealous? Is he going to think that he’s not good enough for me? What are my co workers gonna say? How am I gonna handle this situation? So all of these what if questions, like if you’re constantly asking yourself what if, that’s really a sign of a fear of the unknown. It’s like at the underlying realm, fear of failure is huge. That’s just when everyone has to get over.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:17:33]

Like there is fear of failure in every single story of success. I like to say failure is the price of success and success is formed off of the stepping stones of failure. So I, I think of it as like, there is no failure after go. So if you’re like, I’m afraid I’m going to fail. I’m afraid I’m going to lose the weight and put it back on. I’m afraid I’m going to spend all of this time and energy and money on this and it’s not going to work for me. Those are all signs of that fear of failure. And so what you can look at it is there’s no failure after go.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:18:04]

There’s only growth. So if you can reconstruct that automatic programming to release the attachment from an external goal, like I am a failure if I don’t lose half a pound a week. The only reason that you have that emotion of disappointment is because of your own preset attachment to an expectation that you set. So your disappointment is your fault because you set the expectation to be disappointed in the first place. So really taking this radical personal responsibility and taking a curious look at our thoughts and how those thoughts drive our behavior is so important. And I think we were talking offline a little bit. Those are just three things off the top of my head. You know, fear of the unknown, fear of failure, attachments, other, like worrying about what other people think of you.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:18:53]

But one that was really, really sneaky for me that came up that we were talking about offline and wanted to talk about today was this martyr complex. And a lot of women listening. You said they’re, you know, in that mid age bracket and they’re caretakers, they’re moms, they may have aging parents to take care of, they may have grandchildren to take care of. They’re probably working. If they’re not working, their, their kids are their work you know, they’re a homemaker. And I don’t know about you, but I grew up with a martyr mom. Just full disclosure, my dad has some mental health issues and they almost split up when I was young. My mom had to move away just to have some space, and my dad got his poop in a pile, so to speak, followed her and.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:19:42]

But in order for him to remain stable, shall we say, my mom had to keep a very calm home environment. My mom did everything for us. She drove us to school, she picked us up, she coordinated all of the activities, she made all the meals, she did all the laundry, she did all the housework. And she worked. She owned her own law practice. And so I learned as a little girl that in order to be a good mom, in order to be a good wife, I had to do it all. In order to be a good business owner, I had to work all hours of the day. And so that was my automatic programming that I got from childhood because of my upbringing.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:20:22]

And everybody has their own experience, but if you witnessed your mom bending over backwards to make other people’s lives better, chances are you inherited a little bit of this martyr complex. And I was coaching someone, we were doing some mindset coaching, and it took four sessions plus emails between sessions to really identify that. I think this is what’s going on. I think this is why you’re not being consistent. I think this is why you lose the weight and gain the weight. It’s because you’re trying to manipulate your strategy so tightly, but you don’t have that foundation of self respect and self love and self care and self worth. And so you are trying, you’re over committing yourself, you’re overextending yourself as a way to gain value and as a way to gain self worth and as a way to prove that you’re productive. And so what if instead we kind of take a step back, we recognize that, but we say I am worthy and I am valuable just because I am like, just because I am me, I am worthy and valuable and I don’t have to do anything to earn that love.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:21:26]

I don’t have to be anything. I don’t have to compromise my health or my boundaries. So I think if you’re open to it, can we take a little bit of a deeper dive into this martyr complex that I think is very common? Yes.

Leanne Vogel [00:21:38]

Let’s go. Let’s go.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:21:40]

So I was researching it just this morning because this is such, is such a fresh conversation. And I was just like reading article after article. I’m like, this is her, this is her, this is her. And then I, I shot her an email this morning like, hey, I think this is what’s going on. And she responded back right away. Wow. Exactly right. Even before I read the articles.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:21:58]

But let’s dig a little bit deeper. So some of like the symptoms of the martyr complex that people might relate to would be exhaustion. So feeling like you’re always going, you’re always exhausted, like you can’t cope with your life, you’re always stressed and frustrated. You might be reactive sometimes. People with this martyr complex are resentful when they give so much to so many people, but they don’t get that appreciation in return. I certainly had that like, so I inherited this. I’ve had to work on this even though I didn’t know this is what it was. But I was very resentful towards my husband for various things and we’ve definitely healed that.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:22:39]

Negative feelings about work related tasks or caregiving, difficulty concentrating, cynicism or negativity, feelings of numbness, a lack of creativity. Couple other interesting ones that I thought were minimizing your accomplishments. So you might dismiss your actions saying that it’s, you know, not important or it’s not that big of a deal. Being the hero. So this often happens in healthcare workers, especially this martyr complex because we want to help people, we want to help, we want to feel that, that feeling of accomplishment. Like that’s where we get that get our self worth. And that’s a very slippery slope. Lacking self care.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:23:18]

So you can’t pour from an empty glass, so to speak. But people who chronically dismiss their own health because they’re too busy taking care of other people. Martyr complex, seeking chances to sacrifice. This is the one that really hit home for my client because, you know, she’s a smart, capable woman. She’s a business owner. However, she’s married, she has kids. However, she was always coming back to me saying why she couldn’t do something. It’s very closely related to the victim mindset.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:23:50]

The victim mindset is blaming external circumstances, blaming people, blaming your job. But I’m like, there’s nobody to blame because she owns the business. She, she calls the shots. She’s a grown woman, you know, like she’s mature enough to not. And she’s done enough self work to not be a victim. But I was like, but what is this going on? Well, she was creating her own imbalance of work and life because of this need to be the martyr of the, this need to feel validated and valued. And it’s like that’s we haven’t unpacked that yet, but that’s kind of the next step is like, how is she going to stop this? How is she going to set and keep boundaries? How is she going to release the attachment to a certain level of work but productivity? How is she going to release the attachments that she has about her husband’s approval? All of these things really play into it. But I thought that was so interesting and so timely that we were going to be talking today because I think that this smarter I hate the word complex, but that’s just what it’s called.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:24:57]

The smarter complex really gets in the way of women executing on what they know they need to do to get healthy. And that’s why I say like that mindset piece is so, so critical to master.

Leanne Vogel [00:25:13]

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Leanne Vogel [00:26:32]

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Leanne Vogel [00:27:13]

Yes. And previously you talked about studying yourself. Do you think that that could apply even in this, this situation? And if so, what are the sorts of things? Like perhaps you study yourself and you have some tips about like how to kind of create that. I don’t know, discipline, I guess you could say.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:27:31]

Absolutely. So in our program we teach a daily mindset routine which includes self study questions. I think a great place to start for that is a morning routine. And this self study, it’s deep work, but this is the work that needs to be done. That’s why I always just like take a deep sigh and roll my eyes on the inside when someone’s like, I’m just taking Ozempic to lose weight. I’m like, that’s not the answer. Because a lot of times physical weight is a symptom of this mental weight. And until you do this mindset work, the physical weight’s not going to stay off.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:28:01]

So we have to lose the mental weight in order for that physical weight to stay off. I typically suggest asking yourself really good questions. So I do have like an outline. I don’t have it pulled up right now, but some of this date, the daily questions that I’ve been using, if you think of it like an onion, like, we’ll get to the questions, but when identifying this member’s limiting thought of like martyr complex, how did I get there? First you have to look at the outside layer of the onion. What are the symptoms that she’s experiencing difficulty losing weight. Okay, what’s the layer underneath that? Why is she having difficulty losing weight? So you could, somebody can ask themselves, what are my symptoms? Okay, what are my problems? And then beneath that layer, what’s causing those problems? A lack of follow through on her action items, A lack of follow through on her diet plan, a lack of follow through on her exercise plan, a lack of follow through on her sleep plan, and over commit. So those were the three ones first off. But then if you look deeper, well, what’s causing that stress, essentially.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:29:01]

Well, what’s causing the stress? What limiting thought does she have that makes her compulsively over schedule herself and break her own boundaries around work life balance? And that’s when we want to start to see patterns of behavior. So if you can really look for your patterns of behavior, that’s going to unlock these limiting thoughts. But we have to start with that Outside. Start with the onion. So what are your symptoms? What are your problems? What’s causing that? What’s causing that? Why? And then some other really nice self request, like reflection questions I like is, where am I negotiating with myself? I love sourdough bread. So this is a very common place for me. I’m gonna have. I’ll tell myself before I’m gonna have one piece of sourdough bread.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:29:42]

One little piece. And if I know so I have that preset boundary, so I know that if I go back for a second piece or if I even have that internal chatter of like, oh, a second piece would be nice, that’s negotiating with myself. But if you don’t have your clear boundaries, you don’t even know what you know. You don’t even know. So I think having those boundaries around all of your habits is helpful. Where did I negotiate with myself today? I said this morning I would go to bed at 9:30. Then we watched the new episode of Billions. Have you that show?

Leanne Vogel [00:30:12]

I watched season one and maybe two, but then the main guy is gone and I couldn’t get into it.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:30:19]

He’s back.

Leanne Vogel [00:30:20]

Oh, okay.

Leanne Vogel [00:30:21]

Okay.

Leanne Vogel [00:30:22]

So maybe I’ll give it another try because I really enjoyed the like, back and forth between them.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:30:26]

It was really good. AX is back for those who are Billions fans, you know. And so then we’re getting into our new Billion show and staying up too late. Okay, that’s negotiating with myself. I think the other questions that we can ask is like meditation, for example. Like, I have the goal of daily meditation right now and I negotiate myself out of it all the time because it’s not a habit yet I’ll do it later. So this is huge. Everybody listen.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:30:52]

Procrastination is so sneaky. But a limiting thought is, I’ll do it later. Because later is not an actual time. There’s 24 hours in a day and none of them are called later. And so we need to really get specific on when we’re doing something. So if you find yourself procrastinating, that’s a sign of limiting thought. So where did I procrastinate today? That’s a great question that you can ask yourself. Where did I procrastinate today and why? I think another issue.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:31:22]

Question. I love talking to you about this stuff. Obviously we’re going to come back to that procrastinating one first of all. But another question is, where did I justify my actions today? Second piece of dessert, second piece of bread. Skipping your workout. So that’s kind of like negotiating. But you’re justifying it and that’s helpful. Where did I react instead of respond today? So really nice way to find your limiting thoughts is to look for your triggers.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:31:52]

Look for what activates you. That’s going to show you an underlying attachment that you need to release because it’s limiting you. So when my kids are whiny, I don’t. Do you have any kids?

Leanne Vogel [00:32:03]

I do not. I have a dog.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:32:05]

Maybe when your dog’s fine. I have a six year old and a four year old and it still drives me a little crazy. But I’m getting much less reactive when they’re like whiny, whiny, whiny. And I’m like, be grateful. Like, don’t ask so many questions. Be nice to your sister. Stop yelling. All of that frustration is a sign of an underlying attachment to my expectation to my, you know, of my child.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:32:31]

Some sort of expectation of their behavior. And if I can just drop that and I can be like, they are learning to regulate their emotions just like I am. Fantastic. Like now we’re on the same playing field. So think about where you react instead of respond and then think about what attachment do I have that’s causing me to react in that way Now? I think another thing we should talk about is values. Because if we’re talking about why do people stress out so much? Why do we self sabotage our behaviors? Why do we not keep commitments to ourselves? Why do we break our promises? I think a lot of people are living unfulfilled lives, like period. They’re living lives set by other people’s expectations for them that they’ve never second guessed. And so I think a lovely exercise everybody should go through personally and with their family is what are our values? Because you can really see where your values are by how you spend your time, your energy, your money, your attention.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:33:30]

Time, energy, money, attention. Those are your values. Look at your weekly schedule and I’ll be able to probably identify some values. So if you’re living, if you’re burning both ends of the stick and you’re chronically stressed out and you’re in this martyr complex of giving, giving, giving, my guess is you’re not living in integrity with your values and you’re not in energetic alignment with what your soul wants you to do with your life. And so that’s a, that’s a can of worms. And so like we, we’ve done this recently as a family and ours are like, we love God, we love each other, we’re responsible, we’re kind, we’re helpful. I think that was about it. There’s probably, I have them hanging on our window.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:34:14]

There’s probably one more. But another one of my husbands and I is relaxation. Like we work hard and we want to relax and, and what I realized when I started my business several years ago was I wasn’t doing that. And we weren’t doing that and we were not thriving as a couple. And we were in the early years of parenthood too. And so we realized that, man, our work schedules, mine specifically, was not in line with our values of family, of relaxation. And so I had to drastically change how I worked and change my expectations around work and my own attachments to, to work or to goals so that I could live from my values. And that drastically reduced my stress.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:34:56]

So I’ve been talking a long time. I want to, I want to allow you to ask any questions or clarify anything or add to the conversation.

Leanne Vogel [00:35:07]

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Leanne Vogel [00:35:45]

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Leanne Vogel [00:36:29]

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Leanne Vogel [00:36:32]

That’s my growinghair.com I love it all completely. I do this myself personally and notice certain tendencies. Like for example, one thing that I’m working through right now at the gym, specifically because I have a lot of limiting thoughts. It’s like everything you experience on a Day to day basis, at least for me. Kind of when I go to the gym, everything gets really ugly. And I see my limiting thoughts like very easily. And right now I’m doing a lot of comparison of others on the squat rack. So my squats are so challenging for me.

Leanne Vogel [00:37:05]

I came from a severe injury and I’m slowly working my way back up. And I have to remind myself every time I get to the rack, your body is different from everyone else’s body. Like, don’t look at these other women. But still, still I think, like, she doesn’t even look as strong as me. How could she squat two times more? Like, how does she have two 45 pound plates on how. And then I just, I get so. I can feel myself getting angry, getting depressed. I mean, there have been times where I have literally left the squat rack, grabbed my bag and walked out of the gym just so frustrated.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:37:42]

And we have to unpack this like first off. Okay, okay.

Leanne Vogel [00:37:46]

Fun.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:37:46]

First of all, I think a practice of pride and gratitude is important. I’m sure you’re already doing this, but like the first thing I heard was when she made it to the gym, even if you leave two minutes later, I done that and I’m like, chalk it up as a win, baby. I got to the gym today, I just walked in and walked out. You know, I just. One time I went to the gym at Planet Fitness and they have like those massage tables. Have you ever been there?

Leanne Vogel [00:38:10]

No, I haven’t.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:38:10]

A lot of massage tables. And that’s all I did. I was like, I’m going to go to the gym and exercise my parasympathetic nervous system today with just low light therapy and massage. And I’m going to chalk it up as a win. And so, but what I want people to understand from that brief story and then I’d love to hear more of your insights. The reactivity I felt myself getting mad and depressed. That is a sign that we need to dig a little bit deeper. And when you did, you realized that it was because you were comparing yourself and judging your results or your body against somebody else’s.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:38:43]

And so a great question for you if you find that that’s kind of a recurring thing, is where did I compare myself today? And then I heard this great, this amazing quote about comparison, that comparing yourself to somebody else either makes you feel superior or inferior. And neither honors God. So whatever your beliefs are, I don’t care what people’s beliefs are, but it’s going to make you feel better than someone else or worse than someone else. And that is not a great thing. Like, we are all infinite potential. And so I think that when we all kind of see each other on level playing fields, that’s beautiful. And so what is the. Let me ask you this.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:39:21]

What’s the opposite of that?

Leanne Vogel [00:39:23]

Thought of comparing myself and looking around and being like, I suck?

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:39:29]

Yeah.

Leanne Vogel [00:39:29]

Well, what I do in those moments when it’s not run away from the squat rack and go in my car and do some, like, nervous system retraining. I have a video on my phone of my very first squat that I did in 2022, and I have it starred. And I grab my phone and I look at that. Like, I will grab it. I will look at it. I’m like, right, this is where I started. Okay. And then if that doesn’t work, I remember my reason for why I started working out, which is my mom got diagnosed with Parkinson’s.

Leanne Vogel [00:39:58]

Muscle atrophy is really, really big. And the goal was not to do deeper squats. The goal was not to be better than other people. The goal was not to have big muscles or whatever it was. Let’s build muscle. So if I have to deal with a neurological condition later on, I’m prepared. And those two things of just switching, not necessarily the, well, I am the best, you know, of. More just like, why am I here? What am I doing? Where have I come from? What is my goal? And that just recenters myself.

Leanne Vogel [00:40:30]

And if I take a moment, and it’s hard in those moments when you’re angry or frustrated or you’re feeling all the feelings, the last thing you want to do is dig in. Like, you want to run far away and pretend it never happened. And so there’s that resistance to wanting to get into those sticky bits. So sometimes I’ll have to do, like, a little nervous system retraining, which I do with my tongue. It’s really weird, but I basically hold my tongue with my shirt.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:40:54]

Okay.

Leanne Vogel [00:40:55]

It’s really weird. You can’t hold your tongue. Okay, so I’ll, like, show you, and then I’ll explain. So you, like, oh, and you move it around in your mouth.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:41:05]

Okay.

Leanne Vogel [00:41:05]

And a nervous system guru taught me this. And it will instantly. Even those two seconds that I did that I was like, oh, yeah, that’s nice. It will just instantly relax me, and then I’m better able to address it. So for those that obviously can’t see video, you literally just hold your tongue with something. It can’t be your fingers, and you just move your tongue around in your mouth. Like, you hold it with your fingers, and you move it around however you want to within seconds. It brings a lot of calm.

Leanne Vogel [00:41:34]

And I find when I’m in that jazzed experience, taking a rest and then I’m able to get back to, this is where I started. These are my goals. These people don’t matter. Like, they started somewhere else. They have different goals than me. Like, their progress doesn’t matter to me. And in some ways, it’s like, yeah, girl, you go, that was a great squat. And so it takes.

Leanne Vogel [00:41:58]

It’s hard, you know, but there’s so much there.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:42:00]

There’s so much wisdom. I have to. I have to reflect back the wisdom that you just shared. Number one, just because somebody, like, their squat takes nothing away from your squat, somebody else’s success takes nothing away from your success. So I think part of that, too, is practicing an abundant mindset. Like, there’s enough wins to go around for everyone. Number two, I was thinking about my kids when you were talking about, like, nobody wants to reflect in those moments. We all just, like, want to run away.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:42:27]

And that’s true. And so we have to recognize that that state of fight or flight and reactivity is real. And that is not the best time to do this thought work. That’s a great time to do that nervous system regulation work. Take some deep breaths, but don’t just immediately react and be like, why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? Your brain can’t work best like that. It’s just like, if my son’s mean and hits his sister, I’m gonna let him calm down, and then I’m gonna go talk to him about it. So let your body, let your nervous system calm down, and then talk to yourself about it. I think the other thing that was great, the sign behind me says, keep your eye on your why.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:43:02]

Which is interesting that you said that, because notice how your energy shifted when you went from external focused. These people can do this. These people look like that. These people don’t look like they should be able to lift that much to internal focused. When you shift your focus back to what you can control, which is your attitude, your energy, and your attention, then you’re regaining the personal power. But when you’re comparing yourself to others, when you’re judging yourself to others, I like to think of it like a water balloon. Like, your brain is a water balloon. And every limiting thought that you have is like a pin in that balloon, draining your personal power.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:43:39]

But every time you can catch that limiting thought and change it around, you’re plugging those holes and you’re regaining more personal power. And how much more energy can we have when we’re not wasting it on these negative thoughts and these limiting thoughts? Okay, I want another. Another thought that you had because that was a very good example from the gym.

Leanne Vogel [00:44:00]

Oh, like, other limiting beliefs and things that I have.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:44:04]

Okay.

Leanne Vogel [00:44:04]

Probably another, like, theme. So my husband just lost his job recently, and he. It was because he brought forward a concern that needed to be brought forward, and we worked through it biblically and all the things of, like, we know if we do this, it’s gonna result in you not having a job, but we need to do this. And so we went forward with it knowing that it was the right thing. But oftentimes, because I am a go getter and I’m just like, I will do what I need to do when I need to do it. I’ll just get things done. I can take on a lot of pressure and expectations on myself of just like, okay, now that my husband’s not working, I got this. Like, I can manage this.

Leanne Vogel [00:44:46]

I can just take everything on. And so one thing that I’m really trying to soften into is understanding that I can’t take it all on, that I can ask for help of my husband, of just, you know, well, I’m focusing on this. Could you do that and we can work together as a team? Because what will oftentimes happen is, like, it’s fine. Just don’t. Just don’t bother me. I’ve got it all. And another piece of that, I think, is also relying on God and understanding that I can’t. The.

Leanne Vogel [00:45:13]

The reality is that I can’t hold it all together, but he can. And so it takes the pressure and anxiety off myself. So I would say probably the limiting thought is that I can take it all on. And that doesn’t sound like a limiting thought, but it does actually affect me greatly, physically. I end up, you know, deprioritizing myself over scheduling everything that you’ve talked about, because I’m like, leanne can do it. And I came from a household where my mom, who was born with one hand, was always told as a child, mary can do. Mary can do anything. Which sounds like great, but it created this mother who just did everything, did absolutely everything.

Leanne Vogel [00:45:55]

And now we think it has this neurological condition because she just took so much on all the time. And so that’s kind of the thing that I’m constantly aware of, just like you said with your mother, of, like, where am I taking on too much? And right now the tendency is to, I got it, I can do it. And that, that is a limiting thought for me because it limits my ability to show up and take care of myself.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:46:20]

So what’s the opposite of that?

Leanne Vogel [00:46:21]

I think probably the opposite of it is, like I said, like asking for help and understanding I don’t have it all. And God does like that. What stops me in that moment is like, I’m not enough. That’s okay. God is enough. He can do impossible math. He has supported me through far worse. So I’m just going to faithfully do what I can, take care of myself, take some rest time and know that even when I’m sleeping, he’s at work.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:46:49]

I like that, I think from, from my paradigm and our processes, anybody listening to this probably has started to identify some of their own limiting thoughts. And I like to say, okay, what’s the opposite of that? That’s going to be that empowering thought. And so if people have a morning mindset routine or if they have some affirmations that they tell themselves every morning, I’d really encourage them to add in that empowering thought. So like, for you it would be something like, I, I mean, I’m spitballing here, so we would always want to workshop this. I don’t compare myself against others. I don’t judge myself against others. I am compassionate and empathetic towards myself. I ask for help when I need it.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:47:30]

One thing that’s on mine that I really liked is I take inspired and energetically aligned action. That’s kind of a nice like, litmus test for me of like, is this activity, is this thing on my schedule inspired and energetically aligned or is this on my schedule? Because someone asked for it to be on my schedule and I don’t really want to do it. And I think that that’s very helpful. Another thing I wanted to point out to reflect back to you the wisdom that you shared earlier. Have you heard of the Gap in the Gain book?

Leanne Vogel [00:47:59]

No.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:48:00]

Okay. I haven’t read it, but I feel like the title is very self explanatory. It’s. I don’t even know who wrote it, but I love the title so much. It’s called the Gap and the Gain and I’ve heard him on a podcast talking about it. And so going back to your gym example, when you were getting frustrated and looking at somebody else, you were looking at the gap of where you are compared to where you expect to be or where you want to be, or for a lot of people where somebody thinks they should be the gap in their performance, the gap in their results. And looking at the gap always causes feelings of inadequacy and negativity. But when you’re looking at the gain, which is what you do, when you get in the car and you look at that video from your first squat, you’re like, how far have I come? That produces feelings of self empowerment and self confidence.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:48:46]

And so that’s why practicing those daily wins, even if they’re so minute, and practicing gratitude, even if it’s so minute, is very important to train your brain to stay in the present moment and to stay in your power. Because we. When we. When we’re in the gap, when we’re living in that gap of, like, not where we want to be yet, we’re never going to be satisfied. It’s like a mirage, like, that that yet will always move. So I really wanted to reflect that back to you because the gap and the gain is. Is the book. And if people really struggle with kind of being an overachiever and never, like, feeling like they’re never doing enough and they’re never good enough, that can be a nice, helpful resource that I haven’t read.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:49:25]

But I really like the guys. The guy’s podcast interview. So he sold me the book off the podcast interview.

Leanne Vogel [00:49:32]

It sounds like dissatisfaction, like, when you just have a default of being dissatisfied.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:49:38]

Yeah, it’s kind of. It’s kind of like that. And I think a lot of people go through their life on that default mode. But I can tell you, like, I used to be like that, and I’m not. And, like, these thought patterns can absolutely change, but it does take practice. And I love, love giving the example of my son. People say, gratitude, practice, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. And yes, that is important, and it is a skill.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:50:01]

And one day, my son was whining, whining, whining. And I’m like, dawson, can you name, like, one thing that you’re happy about today that I did for you? And he was like, no. And I said, okay, let me start from this morning when I helped you find your boxers and I helped you put your socks on, then I made you breakfast, then I got you the water, and I laid it all out for him. And then he’s like, oh. And it really clicked on my mind that we can’t practice gratitude if we’re not attentive to the things in our life. If we’re always wanting more, if we’re always looking for what next? Like, what’s next? You’re missing the blessings. So I knew it Clicked for him when one day his sister was whining. Leah, who’s 4, she was whining, whining, whining.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:50:45]

And Dawson’s like, leah, don’t you know everything mom did for you today? She did this and this and this and this, and this is how you treat her. And I’m just like, yes. It clicked. He got it. So that is such a beautiful example from my own life of the fact that gratitude is a skill. And I love hearing that you’re a woman of faith, because I think that I bring faith into coaching as often as possible when I know somebody’s a person of faith. And you’ve. We’ve all heard that line like, God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:51:16]

And I heard on a Christian radio show once that God always gives you more than you can handle. So that you can see that you can’t handle it without him.

Leanne Vogel [00:51:26]

Yes, man.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:51:27]

And I’m like, that’s great. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed, if you’re feeling like you’re not good enough, if you’re feeling like you’re not there, like, recognize that’s a good sign. That’s okay. You don’t have to do this alone. And even if you’re not a person of faith, find a community, find a friend. Like, I think that that’s really important that we talk about. Like, you don’t have to change your lifestyle in isolation, and you can lean into your faith in this process. And that’s been so helpful for me, healing that martyr complex in myself, knowing that I don’t have to do it all.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:52:01]

I don’t have to be at all. I can just be. And I am good enough. And for a while that I had to. I had to tell myself that every day, like, in my morning mindset practice, I am good enough. I am loved. I am successful just the way that I am. That’s okay if you’re at that place and you have to tell yourself that on a daily basis, but do that and then practice gratitude.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:52:23]

And if you’re having a hard time with gratitude, here’s a practical tip. Look around you, look around you. Look at all the beautiful gifts that we have. Like, I am so grateful for the Internet to be able to connect with you. I’m so grateful for my phone to look at pictures of my cute kids. I am so grateful for water to nourish my body. I am so grateful for the camera or the whatever it is. And then if you’re still having a hard time or you want to go deeper, then do yourself.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:52:47]

And I think this is so powerful for women who struggle with body image issues. And they’re like, I hate my body. I don’t like my body. Well, from a manifestation standpoint, you don’t get what you want. You get. You don’t get more of what you want, you get more of what you are. And so if you’re in a state of hating your body, just because you manipulate your weight down doesn’t mean that you’re going to like your body anymore. So we really want to feel our way to the goals.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:53:10]

And I think that, you know, by doing that, by feeling your way to the goal, you’re not giving your power to some external number. So I lost my train of thought there. I was like, okay, I had a point to make. What was that point? Oh, gratitude. So if you struggle with body image, if you hate your body, stop thinking about your thighs, stop thinking about your stomach and think about your eyes, think about your tongue, think about your ears, think about your mind, think about your hands. Like you said, your mom didn’t have a hand. Some people don’t. So we want to get very visceral and specific with our gratitude so that we invoke that feeling within us.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:53:49]

Because the more we feel positive, the more we feel grateful, the more we feel proud of ourselves, we will manifest more of that. And so we have to stop looking at the external things to provide us with those emotions, because that’s an inside out job.

Leanne Vogel [00:54:02]

Yes, I totally agree with you, Morgan. Where can people find more from you, your programs? How can we stay connected?

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:54:10]

Yeah, so I have a podcast too, which is fun. They like podcasts. It’s reshape Your Health with Dr. Morgan Nolte. Our website is zivli.com z I v l I.com we have our Zivli program that opens for enrollment a couple times a year. Next one is in September. We teach you all things about reversing insulin resistance. I talked a lot about mindset today because that’s what I talk a lot about during the coaching.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:54:32]

But we have all the strategy. Nutrition, fasting, stress, sleep, exercise. Everything’s in there. And if they like videos, I’m on YouTube at Dr. Morgan Nolte and Instagram at Dr. Morgan Nolte too.

Leanne Vogel [00:54:43]

I will include all those show notes links in the show notes rather. So if you’re unsure of where to go, just look around for the show notes and everything will be there. On how to connect with Morgan. Thank you for coming on the show today.

Dr. Morgan Nolte [00:54:55]

Thanks, Leanne. It was a joy. I hope that people got something out of it and I hope that they were able to do self reflect a little bit throughout this entire episode.

Leanne Vogel [00:55:03]

I’m sure they were. I know my wheels were turning.

Leanne Vogel [00:55:06]

I hope you enjoyed our time with Dr. Morgan. You can check her out again on her website by going to Ziv Lee.com that’s Zed I V L I.com and I will include all her other links and show note items in the show notes. So go ahead and check that out and I will see you back here next week for another episode. Bye.

Leanne Vogel [00:55:34]

Thanks for listening to the Healthful Pursuit Podcast. Join us next Tuesday for another episode of the show. If you’re looking for free resources, there are a couple of places you can go. The first to my blog healthfulpersuit.com where you’re going to find loads of recipes. The second is a free parasite protocol that I’ve put together for you that outlines symptoms, testing and resources to determine whether or not you have a parasite, plus a full protocol to follow to eradicate them from your life if you need to. That’s available at healthfulpursuit.com parasites and last but certainly not least, a full list of blood work markers to ask your doctor for so that you can get a full picture picture of your health. You can grab that free resource by going to healthfulpersuit.com labs the healthful pursuit Podcast, including show notes and links, provides information in respect to healthy living recipes, nutrition and diet and is intended for informational purposes only. The information provided is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, nor is it to be construed as such.

Leanne Vogel [00:56:37]

We cannot guarantee that the information provides provided on the Healthful Pursuit podcast reflects the most up to date medical research. Information is provided without any representation or warranties of any kind. Please consult a qualified health practitioner with any questions you may have regarding your health and nutrition program.

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Hi! I'm Leanne (RHN FBCS)

a Functional Medicine Practitioner, host of the Healthful Pursuit Podcast, and best-selling author of The Keto Diet & Keto for Women. I want to live in a world where every woman has access to knowledge to better her health.

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